Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Six days before Christmas I
heard four gunshots outside my bedroom window. As the cops showed up, I watched them search my block. A few hours later I gave a
report to an officer about the drive by (no one was hurt PRAISE GOD). In the
morning, I had to make another call to report my room mates bike had been
stolen. I remember hearing noises outside my front door that night after the shooting, but thought it was just the cops checking around the house (apparently not). The whole next week continued to build and became more intense with added
anxiety, financial burdens, and family drama. There was no rest or pause time for me to sit and relax.
Every year, just days after Christmas, Cru has their annual Winter conference in nine different locations around the U.S. For the past nine years, I have gone to the one in Denver. As staff, I have to be there a day early to prepare and set up. I was in charge of recruiting for Cru's high school ministry. This meant I had a table in the lobby I had to be at most of the day and engage with interested students. I also had my own seminar to speak at, and I was in charge of contacting and meeting with students who expressed interest in high school ministry. As I thought about all the responsibilities put upon me and the packed schedule I would have, I became overwhelmed and emotionally shut down.
The only thing I could do was check my email inbox that had about 50 message I needed to reply to. One of those emails was the high school team leader for Denver asking if I still needed help manning the table. I had completely forgot about asking for help almost two months earlier with this job. Reading this email made me very emotional as I read about how the team in Denver worked out a schedule to help man the table every evening. They had no idea what was going on in my life at that time. I quickly replied back saying YES, YES! Then proceeded to thank everyone profusely.
Having that extra time in the evening was the one part of my day I did to have to rush and I was able to get dinner at a reasonable hour. Every moment from the time I heard gunshots up until reading that email, had been filled with anxiety, stress, people, and one task after another. It was great to know that I would have time in each day of the conference to pause, reflect, and rest. Having help in the evening meant that I did not have to stress over texting all 83 students who were interested in high school ministry by myself each day! God knew I needed to be at that conference not just to do my job, but to have time to process the previous week before returning home.
In the same email mentioned above, I was told that a few members of his team and some high school students would love to help out with my seminar! I began to feel my solders rising from their sockets as I literally felt the weight of the stress roll right off. This meant that I did not have to make an outline that had me talking for an entire hour! With the help of the other staff, and high school students, it took up time where I did not have to perform the whole time. It was also good for the college students to hear first hand testimony from the high school students of why it is important to have a Cru movement in high school, and why adult leadership is important to them, and their walk with the Lord.
God did not stop there! During the conference there was something called "Missions Marketplace." 700 college students went around to different
tables to learn about different missions Cru offers. The High school ministry goes on lots of missions throughout the year and they are not just missions FOR high school students, but TO high school students. So college students can also apply for our missions! I got a table at this event and when I got there, every table but mine had at least two staff members at it ready for the stampede of college students. I felt very alone and again, overwhelmed. I did not think to ask for help for this event and started thinking of scenarios where I am talking to one student and another student walks up to the table mid conversation. What would I do?
All of a sudden, a high school staff member from Nebraska comes into the room and has with him, staff member from Denver, two high school students, and a college volunteer. We had such a large group of people ready to engage with college students that we had to pull over another table to fit all of us. There were several times all of us were talking with students, encouraging them to sign up for more information. Every now and then I would have a break and look at the other people at the table and praise God for sending them to my rescue.
I feel incredibly blessed to be a part of an
organization that builds each other up and cares for coworkers in this way. I do not know what I would of done had the Lord not sent other staff members and students to help. I am at a better place emotionally and spiritually, because of the time they put into standing at the table in the lobby, talking to students at the Missions Marketplace, and helping at my seminar. Just as God provided people in my life at this conference, I have faith that he will provide people in my life to fill my ministry partner team, and get me on the field for full time ministry.
